Dityantonk is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, unselfish jaguar.

Dityantonk created the planet Mars six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dityantonk, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dityantonk, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Dityantonk's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Dityantonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Cats are not to be trusted.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always help sick dogs.