Vad is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, duplicitous armadillo.

Vad created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vad, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Vad's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Vad's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Frogs are not to be trusted.

4. Never laugh in the presence of aardvarks.

5. Always help pigs.