Tifwik is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, impressive finch.

Tifwik created the Milkyway five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifwik, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tifwik, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tifwik's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Tifwik's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven moths approach from the south.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tifwik.

3. Never hurt manatees.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Put Tifwik first in all things.