Yamquamget is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, smart seal.

Yamquamget created a down quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamquamget, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yamquamget, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Yamquamget's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Yamquamget's Holy Commandments

1. Yamquamget loves sheep, so they must be respected.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Hide from fawn manatees for they are unholy.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.