Nurlyakmit is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, generous shrew.

Nurlyakmit created the Sombrero Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurlyakmit, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nurlyakmit, she will turn you into a mouse.

Nurlyakmit's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Nurlyakmit's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green dresses.

2. Put Nurlyakmit first in all things.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. Retreat if nine cats approach from the north.