Ranboncet is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, uncaring mink.

Ranboncet created the Sun four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ranboncet, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Ranboncet, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Ranboncet's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Ranboncet's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

2. Always help sick great tits.

3. Ranboncet must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.