Stigfetbem Likdobtabstafgutlarg Larpnarlflan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, happy unicorn.

Stigfetbem Likdobtabstafgutlarg Larpnarlflan created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stigfetbem Likdobtabstafgutlarg Larpnarlflan, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Stigfetbem Likdobtabstafgutlarg Larpnarlflan, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Stigfetbem Likdobtabstafgutlarg Larpnarlflan's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Stigfetbem Likdobtabstafgutlarg Larpnarlflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about seals.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Erect five iron sculptures of Stigfetbem Likdobtabstafgutlarg Larpnarlflan on top of important buildings.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.