Gupbumdud is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unfair porpoise.

Gupbumdud created a charm quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gupbumdud, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gupbumdud, she will turn you into a rat.

Gupbumdud's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Gupbumdud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always wear blue.

5. Retreat if eight otters approach from the west.