Midbitquag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, omnipotent coyote.

Midbitquag created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Midbitquag, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Midbitquag, it will laugh at you.

Midbitquag's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Midbitquag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat lemons.

2. Do not take Midbitquag's name in vain.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Midbitquag loves foxes, so they must be respected.