Tarpbetgat is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, two-faced guinea pig.

Tarpbetgat created the Tadpole Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpbetgat, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tarpbetgat, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Tarpbetgat's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Tarpbetgat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not dye your hair brown.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Fast once a month.