Zanwiphog is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, two-faced aardvark.

Zanwiphog created a strange quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Zanwiphog, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zanwiphog, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Zanwiphog's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Zanwiphog's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands mauve.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Zanwiphog.

5. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.