Lagsabsat is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, ruthless owl.

Lagsabsat created the Andromeda Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lagsabsat, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lagsabsat, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Lagsabsat's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Lagsabsat's Holy Commandments

1. Lagsabsat must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Put Lagsabsat first in all things.

5. Never wear orange kilts.