Vidrigshavmob is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, benevolent octopus.

Vidrigshavmob created a quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vidrigshavmob, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vidrigshavmob, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Vidrigshavmob's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Vidrigshavmob's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight snakes approach from the west.

2. Do not eat figs.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not make images of living things.