Zignurkop is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, duplicitous mongoose.

Zignurkop created a photon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zignurkop, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Zignurkop, it will turn you into a rock.

Zignurkop's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Zignurkop's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never eat figs.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Worship no other gods but Zignurkop.

5. Run away from brown squirrels, for they are unholy.