Nabgebtonkkennibnurwee is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, blissful mongoose.

Nabgebtonkkennibnurwee created a quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Nabgebtonkkennibnurwee, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nabgebtonkkennibnurwee, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nabgebtonkkennibnurwee's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Nabgebtonkkennibnurwee's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never feed tomatoes to pigs while wearing fawn dresses.

5. Fast once a month.