Larnzodsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a large, merciful ant.

Larnzodsaw created the Sun two million years ago.

If you believe in Larnzodsaw, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Larnzodsaw, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Larnzodsaw's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Larnzodsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four voles approach from the east.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.