Zabbumhabsab is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, ill-tempered spider.

Zabbumhabsab created carbon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zabbumhabsab, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Zabbumhabsab, he will not care.

Zabbumhabsab's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Zabbumhabsab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not dye your hair brown.