Lunjenjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, self-assured troll.

Lunjenjarn created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lunjenjarn, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lunjenjarn, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Lunjenjarn's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Lunjenjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never eat tomatoes.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.