Jabstafduss is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, charitable shark.

Jabstafduss created the Andromeda Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabstafduss, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jabstafduss, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jabstafduss' most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Jabstafduss' Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not dye your hair fawn.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never eat green fruit.