Kemnurtyik is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, awe-inspiring yak.

Kemnurtyik created the Black Eye Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kemnurtyik, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kemnurtyik, it will not invite you to parties.

Kemnurtyik's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Kemnurtyik's Holy Commandments

1. Put Kemnurtyik first in all things.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. You must pray to Kemnurtyik eight times a day.

5. Never paint your chest magenta.