Dussnulflab is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, merciless finch.

Dussnulflab created light nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dussnulflab, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dussnulflab, she will ignore you.

Dussnulflab's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Dussnulflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lemons to ducks while wearing yellow tights.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. You must love Dussnulflab.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not drink water in red rooms.