Cubtettiort is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unselfish human.

Cubtettiort created a down quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cubtettiort, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cubtettiort, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Cubtettiort's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Cubtettiort's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never eat corn.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. You must love Cubtettiort.