Ominzednut is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, bad-tempered pig.

Ominzednut created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ominzednut, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ominzednut, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Ominzednut's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Ominzednut's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ominzednut.

3. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always help horses in need.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.