Linsomlab is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, blissful turtle.

Linsomlab created the Small Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Linsomlab, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Linsomlab, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Linsomlab's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Linsomlab's Holy Commandments

1. Put Linsomlab first in all things.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never mention goats.

5. Worship no other gods but Linsomlab.