Femlistnurl Dobmapnuttgid is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, merciful donkey.

Femlistnurl Dobmapnuttgid created bats two million years ago.

If you believe in Femlistnurl Dobmapnuttgid, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Femlistnurl Dobmapnuttgid, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Femlistnurl Dobmapnuttgid's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Femlistnurl Dobmapnuttgid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never wear jumpers.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. You must never eat aubergines.