Hapjadhug Zanpag Ruttfobgatcitsagdunwapfig is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, wise faun.

Hapjadhug Zanpag Ruttfobgatcitsagdunwapfig created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapjadhug Zanpag Ruttfobgatcitsagdunwapfig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hapjadhug Zanpag Ruttfobgatcitsagdunwapfig, it will curse you with boils.

Hapjadhug Zanpag Ruttfobgatcitsagdunwapfig's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Hapjadhug Zanpag Ruttfobgatcitsagdunwapfig's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Put Hapjadhug Zanpag Ruttfobgatcitsagdunwapfig first in all things.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Do not speak about turnips.

5. Never look at stars.