Dummattab Latwatbut is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, capable swan.

Dummattab Latwatbut created the Milkyway seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dummattab Latwatbut, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dummattab Latwatbut, he will turn you into a worm.

Dummattab Latwatbut's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Dummattab Latwatbut's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Run away if eight monkeys approach from the south.

3. Do not drink water in black rooms.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.