Bonkrutnarl is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, benevolent tortoise.

Bonkrutnarl created the universe two years ago.

If you believe in Bonkrutnarl, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bonkrutnarl, it will torture you forever.

Bonkrutnarl's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Bonkrutnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Bonkrutnarl loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.