Bifkikyamwap Zagjadpit is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, deceitful hydra.

Bifkikyamwap Zagjadpit created the Sun two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bifkikyamwap Zagjadpit, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bifkikyamwap Zagjadpit, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bifkikyamwap Zagjadpit's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Bifkikyamwap Zagjadpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not dye your hair magenta.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Put Bifkikyamwap Zagjadpit first in all things.