Farmatbast is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unthinking lion.

Farmatbast created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farmatbast, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Farmatbast, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Farmatbast's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Farmatbast's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always obey Farmatbast's priests.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never mention voles.

5. Always take life seriously.