Kargubfossbim is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, merciless manatee.

Kargubfossbim created snails eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kargubfossbim, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kargubfossbim, he will turn you into a puffin.

Kargubfossbim's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Kargubfossbim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

5. Do not kill gulls.