Bifbessbaf is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, tiresome dove.

Bifbessbaf created the planet Saturn seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifbessbaf, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bifbessbaf, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bifbessbaf's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Bifbessbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five nematodes approach from the west.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not cook food in pots.