Tettiappkon is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, overgenerous whale.

Tettiappkon created the Whirlpool Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Tettiappkon, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tettiappkon, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tettiappkon's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Tettiappkon's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not take Tettiappkon's name in vain.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.