Ab Cibflisjarn Batgaddab is a god.

He takes the form of a large, quiet hyena.

Ab Cibflisjarn Batgaddab created dark matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ab Cibflisjarn Batgaddab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ab Cibflisjarn Batgaddab, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Ab Cibflisjarn Batgaddab's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Ab Cibflisjarn Batgaddab's Holy Commandments

1. Ab Cibflisjarn Batgaddab loves goats, so they must be respected.

2. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Retreat if three aardvarks approach from the north.

4. Always look after injured turtles.

5. Do not make images of living things.