Kopspagduss is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, confident finch.

Kopspagduss created a quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kopspagduss, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Kopspagduss, it will torture you forever.

Kopspagduss' most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Kopspagduss' Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near ducks.

2. Run away if eight geese approach from the south.

3. Always treat snails with great respect.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.