Jigtarwan is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, egotistical otter.

Jigtarwan created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Jigtarwan, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jigtarwan, he will not care.

Jigtarwan's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Jigtarwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Run away if eight doves approach from the west.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never wear shoes.