Bissbugtarfom is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, witless dog.

Bissbugtarfom created a down quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissbugtarfom, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bissbugtarfom, he will turn you into a duck.

Bissbugtarfom's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Bissbugtarfom's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bissbugtarfom seven times a day.

2. Never talk about monkeys.

3. Never paint your chest red.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Bissbugtarfom on top of all buildings.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.