Hognilquagvigqueegbutquartlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, strong slug.

Hognilquagvigqueegbutquartlarp created the Large Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hognilquagvigqueegbutquartlarp, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hognilquagvigqueegbutquartlarp, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hognilquagvigqueegbutquartlarp's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Hognilquagvigqueegbutquartlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to cats while wearing cyan shirts.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hognilquagvigqueegbutquartlarp.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.