Largnilljig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, tiresome bat.

Largnilljig created Asia seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Largnilljig, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Largnilljig, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Largnilljig's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Largnilljig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine manatees approach from the north.

2. Never feed coconuts to tortoises while wearing magenta scarves.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never eat nuts.