Jenquafzedtamvannellven is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, resourceful tapir.

Jenquafzedtamvannellven created humankind four years ago.

If you believe in Jenquafzedtamvannellven, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jenquafzedtamvannellven, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Jenquafzedtamvannellven's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Jenquafzedtamvannellven's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never eat melons.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.