Yarpbogvad is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, flying cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Yarpbogvad created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpbogvad, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yarpbogvad, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Yarpbogvad's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Yarpbogvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.