Ciphatzig Waphantab is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, ruthless wolf.

Ciphatzig Waphantab created parasitic wasps six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ciphatzig Waphantab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ciphatzig Waphantab, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ciphatzig Waphantab's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Ciphatzig Waphantab's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always help horses in need.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Put Ciphatzig Waphantab first in all things.