Laphuggum is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unfair wasp.

Laphuggum created silver four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Laphuggum, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Laphuggum, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Laphuggum's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Laphuggum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about nuts.

2. Run away from cyan voles, for they are unholy.

3. Worship no other gods but Laphuggum.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.