Capgumrut is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, temperamental hyena.

Capgumrut created oxygen six million years ago.

If you believe in Capgumrut, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Capgumrut, he will turn you into a dog.

Capgumrut's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Capgumrut's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.