Bigbemget is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, capable raven.

Bigbemget created carbon four million years ago.

If you believe in Bigbemget, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bigbemget, it will strike you with lightening.

Bigbemget's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Bigbemget's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never talk about aardvarks.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Bigbemget.

4. Put Bigbemget first in all things.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.