Kembastmot Bamnartyog is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, sage dove.

Kembastmot Bamnartyog created a bottom quark two years ago.

If you believe in Kembastmot Bamnartyog, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kembastmot Bamnartyog, he will make you grow a tail.

Kembastmot Bamnartyog's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Kembastmot Bamnartyog's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. You must pray to Kembastmot Bamnartyog seven times a day.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Run away from mauve snakes, for they are unholy.

5. Hide if four monkeys approach from the west.