Nuttmeggum is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, competent gerbil.

Nuttmeggum created an electron nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttmeggum, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Nuttmeggum, he will torture you forever.

Nuttmeggum's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Nuttmeggum's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Nuttmeggum five times a day.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nuttmeggum.

4. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

5. Always help snakes.