Fob is a god.

It takes the form of a small, astonishing newt.

Fob created life six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fob, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fob, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Fob's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Fob's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands violet.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always help sick hamsters.