Hityogbam Padmotquaf Botfubhiv is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, compassionate cow.

Hityogbam Padmotquaf Botfubhiv created the Whirlpool Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hityogbam Padmotquaf Botfubhiv, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hityogbam Padmotquaf Botfubhiv, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hityogbam Padmotquaf Botfubhiv's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Hityogbam Padmotquaf Botfubhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Hityogbam Padmotquaf Botfubhiv.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Feed all hungry sheep.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.