Lamnakcan is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, vain duck.

Lamnakcan created silver two million years ago.

If you believe in Lamnakcan, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lamnakcan, it will turn you into a plant.

Lamnakcan's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Lamnakcan's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Lamnakcan's priests.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never think about galaxies.